Tag Archive: love


Things I am thankful for (in no particular order):

My life

My health

My friends

The fact that I am employed (if not the actual job)

My phone (it likes do to things like have the touch screen stop working, or forget all my contacts and stuff like that, but it’s a relatively reliable smart phone that does what I need, usually)

My family, even the ones who aren’t related by blood, and even the ones far away.

The fact that I have a roof over my head, whether I am employed or not

My brain, and how it works (usually. And even when I don’t like how it works, I like that I know it’ll go back to the other way eventually)

My little spiky ball of hate (aka my hedgie)

And that I’m going to be able to have a tasty dinner today. So many people won’t.

I wrote this last night, because as we speak, I’m either in Maine or on my way up. Have a great and safe Thanksgiving!


True Colors!

So, this Friday, I’m going to the True Colors conference at the UCONN campus in Storrs, CT.

I’m really excited. I’ve been there…about 4 times in the past? Always with a school group though. This time I’m going (kinda) by myself. I think my school’s GSA (gay straight alliance) is going, but I stopped going to the meetings a while back for a few reasons, and never went back because I’ve been busy with more important things (homework and cleaning my apartment and taking care of my pets among other things) so I’m not quite sure.

However, my youngest sister IS going, and I want to see her first time going, because I remember how much fun my first time was.

The first time I went was my sophomore year of high school. I had wanted to go my freshmen year but had been grounded. I was together with my girlfriend at the time, so things were pretty cool. Wandering around on a beautiful sunny spring day hand in hand with my girlfriend, everyone around my accepting, for once not worrying if people were glaring at us or about to call out mean phrases….just her and I happy together… I don’t remember much of that one. I remember going to a workshop and having it confirm my bisexuality even more. I remember free condoms, not because I wanted to use them but because I thought it was fun and ridiculous to carry around condoms with me (What? I was like…..15? And the idea of sex was still gross and such….)

Next time was junior year in high school. My girlfriend had a boyfriend, so we had broken up. I had a boyfriend too. We spent the time avoiding my ex and loving the spring weather. I remember even less about that time.

I went senior year. I hung out with my friends from a town I had used to live in. I have no recollections beyond that.

Last time was….sophomore/junior year (my time off makes it hard to keep track) It wasn’t as much fun that year. A lot of it seemed high school orientated, and I wasn’t allowed in the high school workshops. But there was fun. I bought a feather boa and a rainbow flag and had flaming purple hair so I became” Super Gay!!!!!” I saw some friends I hadn’t seen since high school. I went to some fun enough workshops. One that talked about safe sex (not gonna lie I didn’t know how to be safe for girl-on-girl, so I learned a LOT.), one about bisexuality (I knew most of it already but it was nice because i had a chance to buy some bisexual pride pins), a presentation about the ex gay treatment centers by someone who had survived one (yes the ex gay movement exists ouside “But I’m A Cheerleader”. Scary shit, and full of hypocrisy. The guy presented it in a humorous way though, which made it a bit less scary.) I think there may have been a few other workshops, but my memory is fuzzy. I’m surprised I remember any of it considering what happened later that week (for those who knew me back then: the asshole was made to leave that week. I’m sure you all remember how emotional I was that week…)

So my sister is a freshman and going. So Thursday night I’m going down, and Friday I am waking up at an ungodly hour and walking to school with my sister. Her teacher said I can hitch a ride with them, without which I would be unable to get there, because my mom, while being closer than me, is still far away from Storrs.   I will be reprising my role as super gay, except this time I aim to have rainbow thigh high socks and either ripped jeans or shorts on displaying them, a rainbow belt….and something rainbow-ey for the shirt, dunno yet. This is so exciting. I get to meet my sister’s friends, hang out with my demon child of a sister, and have a fun time in an accepting place. Who knows what I’ll learn! I will come bearing knowledge and maybe even pictures. YAY!!!


“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.”

–Veronica A. Shoffstall

From here

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