Category: Rants


Resume flailing…

So, I’m trying to get an “adult job”. I’m tired of all the retail BS. I mean, it’s a job, but even if I was working 40 hours a week at walmart (which they wouldn’t allow, and I didn’t want anyways…I hated my life enough with the 30-something hours I got…) I wouldn’t have been able to afford an apartment once you add in things like utilities, and food, and such….like, that’s a studio with just me. I mean, if it got bumped up to a one bedroom, and boyfriend contributed….we’d still be kinda close to not being able to make it (because with boyfriend comes car insurance and gas and car maintenance…..). Nevermind trying to afford a car of my own (we’re lucky boyfriend and I got jobs so close, otherwise I’m not sure how well things would have worked…my short-lived job at the mall was hellish trying to figure out transportation, especially considering that the bus in this town can’t be depended on, and actually screwed me out of a job interview….) or anything like that…

So, I posted a mopey facebook post about wanting an undo button for life, because I was just so darn mopey about my situation. And a friend of mine checked in, because I’m not that prone to posting sad facebook messages (angry, I do very very well, because I’m good at ranting…but sad, I don’t do too often…). Friend has a good job. Friend can “refer” me to another job in said company that I am actually potentially qualified for. Sweet.

But then I look at my reusme….the poor thing has seen better days. And I want to make a good impression, since I reflect upon friend. So I decide to remake my resume with a new template and make everything spifferific….

And then I get to the objective section.

The objective section makes no freaking sense to me. The objective is, obviously, to find a job, or I suppose get experience for an internship.  But you can’t write “my objective is to be as obedient as a wage slave as I need to be for you to give me a paycheck.” Well, you can, but I doubt you’d get hired. (Don’t give me that crap about finding a job I love. I don’t know of any job that consists of sitting around in my PJ’s all day and watching anime, playing video games, and being on tumblr. And I don’t really have the motivation to write for a living, nor, I think, the skill, as much as I love it) Employers know that most of the time, it’s about getting a job. I feel like it’s a sadistic trick….”Let’s make them lie really really well if they want this job. Let’s see who gets the most flowery”

As much as I hate online retail job applications in general, I think they have the right idea. Fill in the blanks with your info. I mean, sure, many of them have the option to upload your resume as well, but… it’s not necessary, and often, won’t reflect poorly on you if you don’t, because THEY ALREADY HAVE ALL OF YOUR INFORMATION! RESUME IS SUPERFLUOUS AT THAT POINT!

But I want this job. Really bad. I’m not going to get into specifics, but it’s really cool. Commute may kinda suck for a bit, but I have plans for that too.

I’m also trying to kick caffeine. I’ve currently got a headache that kills that I’ve had since yesterday, and I’m irritable as all get out. And there are handymen (boyfriend’s parents are on a home improvement kick) and they’re banging and painting and monopolizing both bathrooms and I really need to use one of them. Bah. Bad day for this. Oh well. I’m probably cranky enough that Andrew is gonna force some soda into me anyways >_<.

But I should really stop procrastinating. I should go work on that. Wish me luck.

Heh

So, I live in the US. Yesterday, there was a big decision handed down from one of the highest courts in the land saying that most of the healthcare reform that is going through right now is a-OK in their eyes.

I saw a lot of people on twitter, saying they were going to move to Canada due to this decision…

Look here for examples

I think, regardless of your views on this ruling, that we can all laugh a bit. People who are angry about the government in healthcare….want to move to Canada…..where the government is all up in their healthcare. We’re talking government takes care of your hospital bills up there.

It’s like when a bunch of republicans I know were talking about moving to Canada after Obama won. Unless you’re moving because you can’t stand to have a black head of state, moving to Canada really isn’t going to help you. They tend to skew more “liberal” than the democrats up yonder.

It’s like saying you don’t like living in England, so you’re going to move to London. Not only have you not fixed your problem, you’re moving to the freaking capital (and while there are other countries that you more likely be listed as capital of government being involved with healthcare, the analogy is good enough for ya’ll to understand what I mean….)

Edit: A friend pointed out that if they had wanted health care reform that involved single-payer-for-all healthcare, then Canda might be a possible option. Fair enough. However, these twitter comments seem to imply that that is not the case.

I feel like telling you all a story from when I was younger….

I went to two high schools. The first one’s dress code was “as long as it doesn’t create a disturbance in class”.

I verified this with all the administrators I had come across. This was the policy. No matter what, if it didn’t cause a disturbance in the classroom, it was okay.

So one day, I decided to wear a thong on the outside of my pants. You see, the “trend” at the time was for girls to wear low-cut jeans with their thongs sticking out. I personally thought it looked silly, so I figured I’d do something equally silly to comment on it.

All was well, until 7th period. You see, between periods, and during study hall and lunch, I got a few questions, but in the actually classes, no one said anything. So I was still within policy, although only by a bit. And then the teacher told me that it was inappropriate and that I needed to take my thong off.

“But I’m not breaking any rules. It hasn’t caused any disturbances in any classes, and your class hadn’t even started! And anyways, why is my outfit any worse than hers? The only difference between my outfit and her outfit is a few inches of pants and the placement of the thong!” I said, pointing to the girl next to me. (She was actually pretty nice, if I remember correctly. She later told me she didn’t agree with the teacher making me take it off)

She then proceeded to spin some sort of excuse that teachers are allowed discretion over dress code policies and that was why she was allowed to not let students wear hats in her class and so I needed to go and take the thong off NOW or there would be consequences.

I wish I could live that day over again, just so that I could stand my ground against her. Argue with her. Dare her to do something.

But I was only 14, and a very meek 14-year-old at that. So I went to the bathroom and took off the thong.

But, I did not let her win completely. I took her at her word, that it was a her classroom rule, and put on the thong on the way to the next class.

Apparently, one of my classmates didn’t like this, and went back and told her. Not even five minutes into the next class, the teacher from the previous class showed up, and told the other teacher that he needed to tell me to take it off because she had told me to take it off and it was inappropriate.

I was almost worth it to see the teacher say it. He was this quiet, mild-mannered, white-haired old man.

“Momo (except he used the name I went by then), are you wearing something that (mean lady teacher from previous period) told you not to wear?” She was standing there next to him, glaring at me.

I sensed the opportunity here. “YOU MEAN MY THONG?!” I cried, standing up, drawing obvious attention to it. I felt almost bad for the guy, it wasn’t his fault, but if I was asked to take the thong off again, I was going to make sure as hell I at least made it violate dress code before I did it.

He went red, and didn’t really address what I said. “You need to go to the ladies room and remove that….”

“Oh no need for me missing class. I’ll do it right here!” And I started trying to take the thong off.

“No! Nonono! In the ladies room!” he stammered.

I felt as though my point had been made well enough, and so I walked out of the room, staring the mean teacher in the eye as I left. I later apologized to the kindly old teacher, explaining that I had reacted as I had because, up until that point, had no fuss made while in a class due to my outfit, and that I was being unfairly targeted. He said that he understood my point, but he didn’t want to undermine the other teacher’s authority or something like that.

Then, in the next school I went to, I got in trouble for wearing red on the wrong day. But that’s a long story, for another post….

Work rantings

So, life has been…alright, I guess?

This post is going to be a rant about my night at work last night. I am still very grumpy about it, so keep that in mind. Also, in case you’re worried, I’ll be fine, I’m just going to need to get more ways to vent out rage and frustration, otherwise I’m going to go off on one of my underlings, which is rather frowned upon. So yeah, don’t view this as serious, view this as venting.

Got that promotion. Been thinking maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. Mainly because you get yelled at by both management and customers for not doing the impossible. But I’m stuck with it for the next six months, unless I quit or get fired, so I gotta suck it up and deal with it, I suppose…

I closed for the first time last night. Gosh. It was…quite the experience.

First, the last cart pusher left at five. And then the only person in the building that could push carts well that wasn’t one of my cashiers was outright refusing to help me, until one of the higher level managers told him to knock it off and suck it up, essentially. But if she hadn’t, I would have either had to push carts and constantly run back and forth to deal with cashier issues, or taken one of the cashiers off the register to do it, which I couldn’t do because we were in the middle of a rush and I’m not supposed to take register when I’m the only one on.

And then there was the almost constant stream of people picking up online orders which I had to deal with because the guy who is supposed to take care of that was too busy dealing with other things. Which I understand, but why does he get away with it but when I’m too busy to have gotten something done, it’s no excuse. Argh.

And to top it all off, the only person we had to do customer service (due to scheduling errors) was a guy who is usually a cashier but is being trained for customer service. And he would page me literally. Every. Five. Minutes. And then argue with me when I have him his answer. Seriously? If he keeps it up, I’m just going to report him for insubordination. I don’t mind clarifying questions or anything. But when he outright refuses, and tries to tell me how to do my job when he barely even knows how to do his job….and, mind you, I’ve noticed that he only does it to female managers. I end up looking at him, saying “I don’t care, just do it!” and walking away. I’m so done with him, I’m so glad he’s not going to be there tonight, or if he is, he’ll be at register, meaning he can’t literally YELL into the walkie every five minutes and then if I don’t immediately respond and come there he’ll repeatedly page (even when I say “hold on a minute, I’m helping a customer, I’ll be there in just a minute!” if I’m not there in 30 seconds he calls again!). Just…argh.

And while all this constantly paging goes on, an assistant manager laughs at me as I’m walking by, with the words “Needy little guy isn’t he?”. Seriously? Don’t you have some work to be doing, instead of laughing at the lower managers?

And also, I was working on closing the outlying registers. Which, yanno, need to get done before the store closes, excuses of too busy not allowed. So he was seriously screwing that up.

And then there’s the girl that took over a half an hour for her 15 minute break and was found by another manager eating unhurriedly in the break room. And then when she was told, by a manager that’s above me, hey, it’s way past time for you to be back up front, you’re holding up so-and-so’s break…she still took about 15 minutes getting back to the front. And then there’s the guy who I went looking for because I had sent him to do this thing that only takes maybe 10 minutes and he had been gone for a half an hour. In the training room, texting. And then he called me angrily many times at the end of the night because there was no one at the register next to him. Sorry, don’t have enough people, no one else who is on has someone next to them, suck it up and deal with it.

And then there was the guy who said he was going to report us to the BBB because he had to wait a minute to get someone to help him in the area (guy was at lunch), and the guy was supposedly “rude”. And that he was going to make sure to name me in his report because “you’re the manager!” Excuse me, I have no power over anyone at all but my cashiers, and even then…..it’s iffy. There are some that like to push the line about being “insubordinate”. Anyone in any other section of the store? If I tell them to do something, they can tell me to fuck off, and would only get in trouble for the language if a customer complained. Mentioning my name will get you nothing.

And then there were the customers yelling at me about the lines. Trust me, I’m aware of them. They don’t give me enough cashiers because they don’t want to pay them, even though it’s screwing you, the customer, over. But I’m not allowed to tell you that. I have to sit there while you call me every foul name in the book because I’ve tried to page overhead for people to come up but no one does and people have called out and they didn’t schedule enough people even if everyone showed up. And apologize. Even though I want to tell you what a fucking entitled asshat you’re being and that if you don’t like it you don’t have to shop here. Argh, rage.

So glad that other manager lady came in a few minutes earlier to help me. She was doing an overnight, to help for other things, but she agreed to clock in early yesterday and today to help me since it was my first nights closing by myself.

So, let me explain to you another story about paging dude, because I am annoyed, and it explains the kind of stuff he does. For simplicity, I’ll label him P. For reference, it was during the middle of a rush the day before easter. We were packed, we had three managers of the same rank as me in, and the manager over us told us to get on register and he would take care of our managing duties until it went down. Every register was open, lines down to who the hell knows where…..it was a RUSH. And all the managers wear walkies. And we have these little things that the cashiers can send us general messages on, like “I need the bathroom!” or, “I have a question!”
So, I’m at a register, obviously scanning away. I see him come over, and say “Hey, can’t help much right now, Manager is acting as manager, so I can’t really help..”
P: “No, it’s just a quick question…”
Me: Fine, what’s up?
P: The customer wants to buy this but it’s broken we can’t sell it right?
I look over, and I see it’s a thing of those plastic easter eggs. You know, the kind you put candy into? There’s a small slice in the side of the packaging, but it’s fairly tiny, and obviously not a big deal.
Me: Go ahead and sell it to the customer!
P: But it’s against the rules! (It isn’t. We can’t discount stuff past a certain point due to damage, but if the customer wants to buy it at that price, we can still sell it. And this customer wants to buy it full price. No issue)
Me: No, it’s not. Just sell it to them.
P: Can you call manager?
Me: My walkie is dead (which is mostly true. It was dying, and all my pages got all distorted)
P: No it’s not, I see it blinking! (He then proceeds to grab it. It’s hanging out of my back pocket. He seriously came within millimeters of touching my butt. Now I’m angry. Not only is he holding me up needlessly about something he shouldn’t even have to ask about, not only is he arguing with me, but now he’s almost touched my butt. I am NOT okay about this)
Me: **growling** It’s broken. Now go back to your register, and sell those eggs!
He goes back. And then I see on the little message thing that he sent that he had a question to Manager. I asked Manager about it later. It was the eggs. And he told him to sell them. And of course, he didn’t argue with Manager, no siree!

Ah, one of these days, I am going to crack and go off on either a customer or a cashier. And I will likely get fired, but it will be GLORIOUS, because it’s all going to come out. I will curse out each and every single one, besides the few that give me no troubles, and then I will never go back, and there will be happiness. The end.

I hate automatic flushing toilets. With a passion.

My school has installed them. Even in the library, which actually isn’t used all that much. I’m not quite sure why.

There are so many problems with them. Depending on how you use the toilet, there can be quite a bit of accidental flushing. If you sit down on the seat, if you lean forward AT ALL, FLUSH! Not only is water wasted, but now your butt is wet with nasty toilet water that, unless you flush it before you go, who knows what was in there…and yet my school installed these special flushing handles that supposedly save water that you flush one way for solid waste and another for liquid waste…seems like a bit of a null gain…

“But what about if you squat?” you ask! Well, then the wasted water is worst! The sensor seems to be right where you squat, because any movement at all seems to set it off!

And then, of course, there’s the problem of half the time it flushes before you’re done wiping. So you’ve got to decide between being an ass and leaving it there fore the next person to handle or waste more water with flushing it! And these things flush with such force that it sprinkles water all over the seat, making it look like you peed and sprayed. So you’re left with leaving it, wiping it up and trying to flush it which simply perpetuates the problem, or wipe it off and carry it to a different trash can (if there even is one! My school is good at forgetting things like that) and get weird looks from people for carrying a piece of wadded up toilet paper outside of the stall…

 

Side rant I made to friends one time after one too many drinks:

If you aren’t a douche, you should put the seat down after you pee, at least, in private bathrooms (public bathrooms are a bit different, and unrelated to this side rant). Not even just because of girls. Let me break it down.

So, there are boys and girls. Both boys and girls pee and poop. So, for the sake of this argument…let’s just say they pee and poop at about equal rates. So, that’s 4 equal options. Girls put the seat down for peeing and pooping. Guys have the seat down for pooping. Therefore, 75% of the time, the seat needs to be down. Therefore, the probability of the seat needing to be down is much higher than the seat is going to be needed up. Three times higher, as a matter of fact. So, therefore, be kind to the other people needing the bathroom, and put the seat down…

Disclaimer: I wrote this post in like…5 minutes before one of my classes. So if it doesn’t make sense or seems disjointed, I apologize…and if anyone sees boyfriend’s post…I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST SO NYAH!

Source

So, long story short: Guy had job that involves box cutters. Guy forgets to take them out of his bag before flying. Bag gets by the TSA WITH THREE BOXCUTTERS in his bag, and nobody notices anything until guy tries to put bag in overhead compartment and the box cutters fall out. Flight attendant sees them, alerts security, etc. Nothing bad happens to guy because it was an accident and not his fault. All well and good, right? No harm no foul?

Normally, I’d agree. Then I saw a quote from a TSA rep.

The TSA spokeswoman Davis insisted that the traveling public was not at risk.

“There have been a number of additional security layers that have been implemented on aircraft that would prevent someone from causing harm with boxcutters,” she insisted.

I copy/pasted that directly from the source. I can’t make it up.

If it’s not a big deal…then why are you screening people for it in the first place? Hell, in a way, that’d make planes safer. Hypothetical situation time: If I were to hijack a plane (which I would never do. Ever. It’s a stupid idea.) with a boxcutter (again, a stupid idea), I would think twice if I knew that there was a possibility everyone else on the plane had a boxcutter. But if I was the only one with a boxcutter, there would be fewer variables to stop me.

Just more proof that it’s not for actual security, it’s security theater, used to make us more compliant to their invasions on our privacy.

I hate bureaucracy…

So, I promised an update last night, so here I am, computer lab…I tried to add a senior seminar class, but it was overfull (like every other class I’ve tried to take it seems) so I decided to write my update now…

Ah, yes, add/drop. But let me start back at the beginning…

So, right before the school goes on winter break, I go there, to make sure everything was okay. Call it a hunch, but I felt like things weren’t exactly right. I have this fear the school will lose paperwork, you see, due to them not liking to give receipts for things, even if they’re important things, like a whole sheet of w-2’s….but I digress. Checked with the departments. All was well…except with financial aid. And…guess what? If you guessed lost a piece of paperwork I gave them, then you win 20 awesome Momo points!

Luckily, I knew where I had a copy of just such paperwork! Huzzah! I asked if it would be alright if I brought it in right after New Year’s, since it was Friday afternoon, and I didn’t have enough time to go and come back before they closed, and I was going to visit my family for two weeks and we don’t have a fax machine or anything down there. They said it was fine, and that they were only going to be open for a day or two in that time period anyways.

So, I go. I visit my mom. I make merry, and have a jolly Christmas, and a happy New Year. 🙂

Come back up to my apartment. School is open Monday. Walk down there. Give them the paper. Ask them if there is anything else I need. ANYTHING. They go to pull my file…

Ends up they put it where they put the “not going to school anymore” files. Even though I had checked with them two weeks ago, and told them I was coming back. Every other department knew I was coming back. Why didn’t financial aid? I don’t know!

So, they pulled the file, and after a week, they finally put things in for review. I get it back…and I’m missing a lot of aid. A LOT. Like…few thousand dollars worth? I’ll put it this way. I usually get a refund of at least $1000 or so, which I then use to cut down on hours when I’m working so I can concentrate on school (or to just outright live, when I don’t have a job like at current…) and they were almost $3000 short of what I needed, just for tuition. No work study, even, which makes no sense. Seriously, how do you leave out work study? I had an EFC of $0. I should have had a lot more aid, and work study. I’m going to appeal, once I finish adding classes, but appeals take time, and I needed the money NOW to be able to get in…

Thankfully, I have a “family member” (not sure how or if he wants to be identified, so I’m leaving it like that unless he asks otherwise) who was able to help me, even though he had almost no notice.

But of course, that would be too easy. After I get my award letter signed, I have to go to a website and essentially tell them yes I agree to pay back all the money that you loan you’re giving to me.

School started on a Tuesday, due to having Monday, MLK day, off. Except there was snow, so much snow in fact that they called a snow day. There goes my first day of adding classes…

Went to financial aid Wednesday first thing. “Are my loans in?” “No, but we see in the computer that we got it yesterday and so it should be fine tomorrow”

Went Thursday, first thing. “Oh, we got this other thing yesterday. It’ll be okay tomorrow…”

Friday? Second snow day. First time since I’ve started school that they’ve had two snow days in a week. Of course, on the day I was slated to pay my bill.

Luckily for me, they extended the deadline for both paying and add/drop to Friday, so I was able to go in this morning and give them the money they needed and hand in my add/drop sheet thus far.

BUT. Now for my class story…

Backstory: Sometime during my leave of absence, my school e-mail got shut off. Why? I don’t know, but they refused to turn it on again until I had classes. even though I pointed out that my last leave of absence allowed me to keep my e-mail. They didn’t care, they didn’t want to hear from me until I registered for classes. The e-mail is more than just an e-mail….it’s how you normally register for classes, how you normally pay your bill, how you get unofficial transcripts….so on and so forth. To register for classes you need to have your bill paid. And to have your bill paid, you need your e-mail! need the school to process the fact that they have the money they want, they just don’t realize it yet. This will become important soon.

So…Wednesday. I added 2 classes. Or at least, added one, and tentatively added another. You see, there’s this class needed for all psych students. It’s usually a somewhat popular class, and you need these prerequisites filled before you take the class, because once you enter it you can officially enter the psych major (well, you can do that beforehand too, but this one is the big official class…). So, a lot of teachers are kinda strict about it. Strict enough…to require an unofficial transcript to take the class. Which means I need my e-mail. Which means I need to register for classes. Which means I REALLY needed the school to handle my loans, especially because she wants it by today and it can take up to 24-48 hours after you register for classes for the e-mail to start working. I have this class at 4 today. I’m going to throw myself on the mercy of the registrar and hope they somehow have it in their cold hearts to somehow have a way to access my transcript (up until they outsourced it to some outside company, that was where you went to have transcripts sent off….) and if not, throw myself on the mercy of the professor and ask that she let me take care of it on Wednesday. She didn’t seem to like me very much though….I got rejected from two or so classes that day, which I found strange. Usually professors will allow however many students there are seats, whereas the professor were caring about the official student limits instead. The rumor going around is that the professors were told if they add students over the official limit then they’d make the new number the official number for the next semester, and they they’re all afraid of 100 student classes, or whatever. Something like that. I don’t know. I just know it’s hard across almost all the majors to add a class, period, nevermind the important required ones. It’s almost like there isn’t enough class to go around, or something…

Thursday was alright. Added two classes, got rejected from…gosh, I don’t even know how many. 2 or 3, I think? I kinda lost track. I got into one of the classes I wanted, with one of my two favorite professors, which was great. He over packed his room, which I appreciate. If you go by the numbers on the first day, for most classes, you’re not going to have a full class, because a lot of people show up just to make sure the professor won’t drop them then drop it as soon as they get into the classes they want. The second or third day is better, but most professors don’t want to add those days…alas….there was a senior seminar I wanted to take with my absolute favoritest professor…but it was full. He looked sad to have to turn me down. He talked with boyfriend on it on the way to class (I caught him right outside his office, and boyfriend had just come out of class and was heading to that professors class, so he came with me) and he told boyfriend that he was sad that he couldn’t add me. Sad sad. I was able to get into a class with similar content, however, so it wasn’t a complete wash. It just doesn’t count for my seminar…

So now I’m going to hope against all hope that the last professor who has a seminar will let me add it on Wednesday (Jeez, 8 Am with the most boring professor ever about a topic that he and I disagree vehemently upon….see why I waited until last for it?) and somehow get an unofficial transcript by 4, unless the professor wants to be super nice and let me wait until Wednesday, which I doubt…)…and then my semester will be fine. Anthropology for my last social science requirement, “kiddie psych” for a psych elective, “racism class” to fill credits, senior seminar, and big important psychology research class. I think my summer classes will seriously end up entailing taking credits for credit’s sake, because I’m pretty sure it’s just a matter of credits. I’ll find out soon, because once my e-mail works I’m going to turn in my intent to graduate form, which triggers a course audit which they’ll then e-mail me what I need for really reallies to finish. I’m walking in May, barring a catastrophe.  I hope this all works out well. If I’m a credit short, I’m gonna be pissed. I’m missing a big festival in summer for final exams week for the summer semester, so it better all work out right >_<

I’m sure it will. I just need to remember to do my homework and breathe…

Now that I’ve got THAT out of the way, I can use my two hour break between classes to work on grad school and apps and such. It never ends, I swear…

At least I’m officially a student for this semester? Up until this morning I had my doubts that it was all going to work out, which is why I refrained from posting about it.

If I don’t get those classes, I’ll figure out how to add others. Those are just the ones I need to graduate, so I need to explore all options to be able to give up and try another class..

Well, wish me luck guys! I have a feeling I’m going to need it. God, my tummy is doing backflips, this is unpleasant. All I want is the classes I need, is that really so hard?

Well, talk to all you guys later. Ta!

School update

So…update on how the school stuff is going, for those of you who are interested in such things…

So, before break, I went and made sure everything was okay for me to get back. Financial aid had lost a form, but whatever, I can deal with this. I ask if I can bring it after break, since I was leaving for my family’s the next day, they were about to close, and they were closed the next day, making it impossible for me to drop by with it before leaving. They say okay.

I give them the form earlier this week…and they had somehow filed away my file because they “didn’t know you were coming back”…..even though every other department in the bloody school knows it. AND I talked to you before break about it? GAH?!?!?!

…BUT! There is a happy ending. I stopped by a few days later, to figure out a general timeline to see if I was going to be prevented from returning AGAIN by their incompetence. They looked into things, and apparently, everything will be investigated on Monday. So Tuesday,  barring a catastrophe, I -should- have the last little piece of paper they need from me in my little grubby hands, at which time I will quickly check the proper boxes and sign and hand back to them. Then it’s all on them. 

I hate all this stress. Just because during the summer they couldn’t mail a piece of mail to the address that I had given to them, even after I had triple checked and they assured me it would go to the right place **sigh**

But, hopefully, this will be the last bitching about school post, knock on wood. We’ll see what happens Tuesday. If something goes wrong, I think I’ll flip my wig or something.

Walking in May even though I don’t finish until August, whee! Go summer session >_<

On the TSA and their pat-downs

NOTE: This was supposed to go up yesterday, but I fail at scheduling, so it didn’t come up until today….so the plea at the end is probably a bit too late. But I’m leaving it in, because I like my ending and don’t want to rework it :-p

So…

A lot of you have probably heard about the new TSA “advanced pat-downs” or whatever they’re called.

I can hold my silence no longer, I must join the conversation…I don’t like them, or the body scanners that go along with them.

First off, the scanners.

They expose you to radiation. Your naked pictures can be stored and then leaked (And those aren’t from the current body scanners they’re using…..the ones they’re currently using have even MORE detail. So your naked pictures are even MORE embarrassing).

Good news though, you can opt-out….or is it?

If you opt out, they essentially grope you. They go up your thighs until they “meet resistance”. That means, open palm on the genitals. This could be increadibly traumatic for a sexual assault survivor, because it could trigger the person (males can be sexually assaulted too, yanno!), which, if you read the link, you can understand why that would be bad.

One of my good friends was sexually abused as a child. She also has other problems, that she’d prefer I not discuss publicly, that prohibit her from being able to go through the body scanners. She can now no longer fly, because she can’t go through the scanners, and she refuses to go through the scanners and get triggered. And she can’t even try to fly but them opt-out of flying if she gets chosen for a scan, because now they’ve made that punishable with a fine of up to $1100 USD. Really now, a few thousand dollar fine for choosing not to fly anymore?

They also give pat-downs to little kids, too. There’s a video, even. Poor 3 year old girl. This one doesn’t look too grope-ey (hard to see that clearly) but the poor girl is obviously terrified, it seems. I mean, I understand that kids can be used as mules for transporting weapons or what have you…but there has got to be a better way than terrorizing this poor girl, potentially putting her off flying for the rest of her life.

There’s also the story about the flight attendant who had breast cancer who was forced to remove her breast prosthetic, and another cancer survivor who ended up covered in urine due to their own carelessness and not listening to the man’s warnings.

The thing that really gets me about all this? The reason they implemented these scanners? The “underwear bomber”….who they wouldn’t have been able to detect with the scanners! This is seeming more and more about pointless security theater and less like real security measures.

If you’re as outraged as I am, there is a way to take a stand. Tomorrow, the day before Thanksgiving, one of the busiest travel days in the US……is National Opt Out Day. Opt out of the scanners that seem to only exist to try to intimidate you to use the body scanners (The TSA agents in this story seem to come as close to saying that outright as you can get without actually saying it) If enough people opt out of the scanners, the lines will get horribly backed up and the TSA will hopefully abandon this foolishness. Are you a male? There’s a bunch of other males who intend to go in, wearing a kilt with nothing on underneath, so that if they are chosen for the screening…well, you can imagine. So, I implore everyone flying tomorrow, or anyone flying at any time, to opt-out of the invasive body scanners, to show them that you disagree with what they’re doing, and in an attempt to plug up the system as much as possible. Thank you.

Bisexuality

Hello, my name is Momo, and I am bisexual. (Well, technically omni- or pan- sexual, but people tend to not know what that means, so I go for the easy label *smile*)

WARNING: Family…I don’t know if you’ll want to read this. So, proceed at your own discretion…

I’ve been wavering back and forth about whether I should make a post about my bisexuality, because I haven’t encountered much resistance about it recently. But then I remembered that I’m in a mostly liberal college town. And then I remember the recent suicides by people due to LGBT bullying, and I decided I wanted to make a post. This post is somewhat close to my heart, and I have a lot of thoughts about it, so I apologize if I bounce around from topic to topic…I’ll try to keep this coherent as I can.

I’ve somewhat always have been bisexual. I mean, I remember I had a girlfriend in first grade. She pulled me into the reading corner one day during recess, and said, “Momo, I love you!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Aw, X, I love you too!” I replied and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I told my mom about it, because I thought it was awesome. Eventually something happened…I think I moved away? Either way, I didn’t forget about it, per se, but I didn’t consciously think about it. There was no big deal about it, besides the bit of teasing I got from my family that I got whenever little Momo got a boyfriend or girlfriend.

That would be that, until the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I started getting crushes on guys, but also on some of my friends who were girls as well. Long story short, it culminated with me telling my best friend I had a crush on her and kissing her in my friend’s closet during a party, on Easter, I think, of my freshman year in high school. She didn’t know how she felt about me, which caused no end of confusion on all sides. Due to some drama within the friend group, with exes and the like, combined with her uncertainty, we decided that it was best to just be friends. But due to that experience, I came to the realization that I liked both guys and girls. I slowly started coming out to my friends.

Most of the people I hung out with were cool with it all. I mean, I was a weirdo, and I hung out with the other weirdos in my school. There were a few people not really that happy about it, but I wasn’t that close to them, so no big loss.

But when things “hit the fan”, so to speak? I was in tenth grade. I had a really good friend who I hung out with all the time. We were near inseparable. And then, we ended up together. Things were grand. I had a girlfriend who I loved, and she loved me, and nothing else mattered.

But this school was more “city” than the suburban school I had gone to the year before, due to moving, so there were a LOT more people outside of our weirdo group, and a lot more people willing to tell me exactly what they thought was wrong.

I remember the day I had a shouting match with a kid in my study hall. You see, he pointed at a picture of my girlfriend in the yearbook, and asked if I knew her. “Know her? I’m her girlfriend!” I replied cheerfully.

“Girlfriend?” he asked, his face suddenly getting angry. “You’re a sinner! You’re going to hell!!!”

All my cheerfulness vanished. I was stunned. He wasn’t super religious or anything, and before that point, I had only encountered super religious people who had been against same-sex relationships. I blinked a few times, and sputtered out my first coherent thought, which was “I don’t believe in hell, so I’m afraid your threats mean nothing!” It wasn’t a lie. I wasn’t an atheist yet, but I already knew the concept of heaven and hell just didn’t mesh with what I thought at all.

“That just makes you more of a sinner, you’ll surely go to hell!” he yelled, drawing the attention of the entire room.

“I’m sorry, but if god exists, which I’m not quite sure he OR SHE does, I think he’ll care more about whether or not I try to act like a good person than whether or not I believe in it, or who I love. And if it does exist, and wants to throw me into hellfire for all eternity for LOVING someone, then I wouldn’t think he was deserving of worship anyway!” I replied. I was purposefully not trying to be inoffensive at the time because…well, the guy was calling me a sinner and saying I was going to burn in hell for all eternity, he was attacking me, why should I have worried about offending him?

The teacher essentially separated us for the rest of the class. Told us to stop it or we’d both be sent to our administrators. It just wasn’t worth it to me. But I did give the guy a huge smile whenever I saw him, just to piss him off.

The next big incident was during the Day of Silence later that year. We all taped the flyers that we had hung around the school on our shirts that day, so that the teachers would know we were participating. I knew there would be trouble from the start. First, a lot of our flyers were either taken down or vandalized, what with pictures of penises and “Fags get AIDS and die!” and other such derogatory comments. None of us were really surprised by the comments, because we knew by that point there was a large homophobic population in our school. (Side note: People who say homophobia is gone in the North East? Lies! I lived in Connecticut when this happened. I’ve also encountered some homophobia in New Hampshire recently, although not to the same extent as when I was in high school…) What did surprise me was my first period teacher’s reaction. I forget the exact phrasing, but it was something like, “I don’t get the point of this day, it’s such an inconvenience to the teachers, why are these kids even silent anyways?”…IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS. After we had gone to their teacher’s meeting the week before, and explained what we were doing and why we were doing it. If I hadn’t been silent, I would have stood up and said, “You want to know what? It’s really inconvenient that I get teased every day for walking down the hallway with my girlfriend. It’s really inconvenient to get called names and given dirty glares just for being who I am. And it’s really inconvenient that when I try to take a stand, a teacher puts me down because she’s annoyed that she can’t call on three people out of a class of over 20. That’s what’s REALLY inconvenient!” But I was being silent, so I held my tongue. (One of us told the GSA coordinator what had happened, and he talked to her, because the next day before class she pulled the three of us aside and apologized for being so “inconsiderate”. But we could tell she was only doing it because she was told she had to. She didn’t look sorry… She also said something to the class about it, although she stopped short of saying she was sorry for them to the class, so it seemed like she was only sorry that someone had said something.) It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, to this day, to not go off on that teacher. But then I would have broken my vow of silence, and probably gotten suspended, to boot.

The day continued on in a similar fashion. Instead of sitting and thinking about why we were silent, the cruel kids decided it was “taunt the fags ’cause they can’t fight back” day, even though many of the people participating were straight. They just couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around someone supporting gay people who wasn’t gay themselves. And if we did fight back, we were made fun of, with “HAHA made you talk!” And it was so sad, because there were people who I know were on my side, but were too scared of getting made fun of themselves to step in and help. I was teased mercilessly. ALL. DAY. There were people laughing at me, saying they made me talk when they hadn’t. Someone I know, who I thought was my friend, who was nice to me every other day of the year, even tried to taunt me into talking. He didn’t make fun of me, per se, but he said things he knew I would be burning to respond to.

Because of this, I decided that I would not participate in the day of silence anymore, at least, not in high school. While I think it’s a nice sentiment, I decided I would not willingly put myself in a position to be victimized without a way to defend myself. I would stand up and fight, use my voice to try to make things better, instead of echoing silence, because if you’re silent and compliant, why in the world would anyone change anything to make it better for you? I understand that it’s supposed to be about raising awareness and spreading acceptance, but since it was only the weirdos that did it in my school, it just served to further marginalize us. It also didn’t help that some people did it for a period or two, and then laughed with friends about how they got out of answering questions in so-and-so’s class because they hadn’t done the reading. If some of the “popular” people had participated, maybe it would have changed things, but…it was like cows lining up to the slaughter.

When I was eventually outed to my mom, by a nosey neighbor who had seen me hug and kiss my girlfriend before I walked home after school and told my mom in a “DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS DOING?!?!” way…it wasn’t pretty. My mom has always had a lot of gay friends and such growing up…but I guess her own daughter having a girlfriend hit her in a weird way. She wasn’t happy, to say the least. (UPDATE: Look to the comments for my mom’s response) It was a rough couple on months after that….although, most of the taunting came from my mom’s asshole of an ex boyfriend. I remember one time I had my girlfriend over, to celebrate my 16th birthday. We were eating pizza on the balcony of the place where I lived, and I hugged my girlfriend at one point, because I was so happy that it was my birthday and she was there and we were having pizza, and it was a sunny day, and for once, things seemed to be going well. I then got a text from the asshole, telling me to not “lez out” in front of my younger sister…

But things got better. My mom mellowed out about the whole thing, and eventually ditched the asshole. My sister was able to come out as a (mostly) lesbian to my mom and was greeted with acceptance and love surrounding her. Now when I meet homophobes, their words no longer hurt me as much, because instead I just imagine how hard it must be to live with that much hatred inside of you, and feel sorry for them. I mean, yes, of course I get angry sometimes, but I no longer hate them, as I did when I was younger. I have grown to a place where I can (at least sometimes) be the better person.

Okay, now, I don’t speak for all bisexual people here, but there are some things that annoy me about when people find out I’m bisexual, that I’m going to share with you…
-People asking me to answer questions for or speak for all bisexual people. This is as impossible as speaking for all straight people. There’s a very diverse group of people, with a very diverse set of experiences and viewpoints. Each person is their own person.
-Ask me if I’ll have a threesome with you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. This is wrong on so many levels. SO. MANY. LEVELS. If you were a girl, and you were straight, would you think it was okay if someone asked if both he and his friend had sex with you at the same time? I mean, if you’re into that, fine, I don’t really care, but if the person knew nothing other than the fact that you were female and liked guys, and they asked you this question…you would probably be offended, whether you were into it or not. And after it happened time after time after time, I bet you would probably get pretty angry, right? Now you get it.
-Imply that I can’t have a monogamous relationship. Seriously. Just because I’ve been known to like guys and girls, does not mean I can’t find one person. Now I don’t have anything against polyamory or what have you, but it drives me maddening that people assume that that’s my default just because of my orientation. If you’re dude, and you like girls, do you stop liking girls (being straight) because you’re with someone? It’s kinda the same with me. I know there are many polyamorous bisexual people out there, but there are also many monogamous bisexual people. If it’s unclear, ask, but try to have some tact. If you are at least trying to be nice and tactful, in my experience, people won’t bite your head off, but this person might have been asked this a bunch of times recently, so try to be understanding if they get a bit miffed. It’s hard to constantly be questioned about this stuff.
-Don’t try to imply that they’re really just “on the fence” and will some day “decide what they really want”. I had my first girlfriend when I was 6, and had girl crushes way before then. That’s a LONG time. And the fact that it’s usually said in such a smug, condescending tone, like the person knows so much better than you what’s in your head and heart than you do… or the twist on it where the person feigns concern and says I’m just confused…no, I’m pretty sure I know what I want, thankyouverymuch!
-Don’t imply they’re only doing it for attention. I know there are girls out there who kiss other girls at parties who do it for attention….but most of the ones I’ve met don’t identify as bisexual when outside of the parties. And even if they do…it’s not the majority of bisexual people. Stop making assumptions about the majority based on the minority, thankyouverymuch!

So…yeah. That’s about all I can think of right now. Homophobes will either be argued with or have their comments deleted, based on how I’m feeling at the time. 🙂

And for anyone who is having a hard time, especially with homophobic idiots, here’s a video from George Takei that might cheer you up…

Peace love and harmony to you all, and may you never experience hatred 😀

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