Once upon a time ago, I had two mice. Padawan and Asmodean (or Asmo, for short). Then Asmodean ended up being male, Padawan became a mother, and for a while, there was uncertainty about how I would take care for all the mousies.
Eventually, friends and family took care of some of them, and the other ones went to a pet store that sold pet mice and feed mice separate, and I ended up with six mice.
Padawan, Ghost, Lanfear, Bastilla, Crackmouse, and Arya.
Ghostie died one night unexpectedly. She had had a few seizures, but she hadn’t had one in over a month. We thought she had been doing better. We were quite upset.
Padawan died 24 hours later. Seriously. I came home from work, and was worried I was having dejavu, because I went to the mousie tank, like I always do, and she was laying in almost the exact same position,in almost the exact same part of the tank, almost exactly 24 hours after I had found Ghostie (I had gotten out of work the same time both nights). Padawan, however, had a big scary tumor, so her death wasn’t completely unexpected. However, she had seemed fine up until that day, so we had thought we’d have some more time with her.
It was hard to have two mice die within 24 hours of each other. Especially the ones that did. Padawan had been the mommy mouse, and I had had her the longest. And Ghostie had been the runt of the litter, and the only grey and white mousie out of both litters that Padawan had. She was my secret favorite. I would reach in and pet her, and she would let me pet her a few times before running away, unlike the other mice, who would like to bite me if I got too close. So Boyfriend and I made up a story. Either though neither of us is religious, or believes in an afterlife for humans, we made up a mousie afterlife. The mousie afterlife was a pretty sweet place for mouses. They could have all sorts of adventures they couldn’t have while they were alive, because now they didn’t have to worry about any sorts of predators or dying or anything. And we decided that our mice would be circumnavigating the world in a little mousie sized ship. And when a mousie died, they’d wake up on the ship. And instead of being upset about dying, they’d be happy to see their family members they hadn’t seen in a while. And they wouldn’t hurt anymore and be happy and no more tumors ever again.
I write about the mousie afterlife…because I fear that Lanfear will soon be joining them. She has barely moved since last night. She has trouble righting herself. She seems weak and…I just think she’s not long for this world. She’s had tumors, started having them soon after Padawan did, but while Padawan died quickly, Lanfear has been fine for a long time. Hell, she even chewed off her tumors once or twice when I wasn’t there to soothe her. I joked that she would outlive all the other mice, and hell, I half started to believe that myself. She was beast….but she’s taken a sharp turn downhill. And she may surprise me…but I’m not holding my breath. I’m gonna lose my shit…already losing my shit but I’ve got work and I can’t call out and I’m not sure how well I’m going to be able to keep it together. We love you Little Lanfear, and hope that you somehow have a miraculous recovery, but, if not, we hope your passing is as painless as possible, and that you have a great time with your mom and sister in the mousie afterlife.

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